Duke

The niblings decided I needed a bird. All kids love birds. Honestly, I think I'm starting to get it.

If you're going to adopt an imaginary emotional support animal, you might as well pick the bird that looks like it could win a fight against... well, anyone.

Sis, currently 4, named her Duke. I have absolutely no idea where she got the name, but it stuck. Strong names for females, always a win for me.

Duke loves her alone time. She tends to keep to herself until she really has something important to say. She'll happily spend the entire day minding her own business, but the second I get cozy- writing, watching TV, reading, trying to sleep... she's suddenly attached to my neck. She says it's because she's cold. I don't buy it.

Duke only speaks when she has something worth saying, which isn't often. She'll sit through an entire conversation without contributing a thing. Then casually drop a one-liner so good it changes the trajectory of the room. My best jokes... probably stolen from her.