Hybrid Animal Weirdness
Sometimes my brain gets restless and decides to splice oddities together that absolutely shouldn’t exist. It’s not some group project — it’s just me, wide awake at 2 a.m., alone in my room, conjuring creatures that have no business existing. They’re weird, they’re wrong, and they’re exactly the kind of fever-dream misfits that feel right at home in my world.
Crabigator – This bitch walks sideways, bites like hell, and will death-roll your whole neighborhood just because it can. It’s got claws, it’s got teeth, and it does not fuck around.
Giraffowary – Long neck, dagger feet. Sees you coming from a mile away and still meets you halfway just to fuck you up. Basically death on stilts.
Kangapiller – A fat little crawler with a spring-loaded gut. It doesn’t inch along like the others—it launches, crashes, and keeps coming.
Axolobster – All wide-eyed and precious, like it belongs on a sticker… until it cracks your skull like a peanut. Adorable, unstoppable, and definitely the last thing you’ll ever “aww” at.
Skunkoon – Little bastard digs through your garbage, stares you dead in the eyes, and then blasts you like you deserve it.
Chickupine – Tiny, chirpy, and covered in needles. It waddles right up like it’s your friend, then leaves you looking like a dartboard.
Buzzalo – The sky just got loud as hell. This beast doesn’t land, doesn’t rest, just keeps buzzing until your brain feels like it’s gonna leak out your ears. And when it finally swoops in, it’s not honey it wants—it’s you.
Hummingspider – Wings buzzing sweet like a fairy, eight legs dangling like nightmare tinsel. It doesn’t hum, it hunts, and it’ll thread you up midair before you even blink.
Hamsturtle – Round, fuzzy, slow as hell. Looks harmless ‘til it clamps down and refuses to let go, dragging your finger into its dumb little shell like it owes rent.
So there it is — my midnight anomalies. Creatures stitched together in the dark when sleep can’t find me, equal parts nightmare and inside joke. They don’t belong in nature books or bedtime stories, but they damn sure belong in Auntie Lore.