Letting the Record Play

I can spend ten minutes rewriting an email, but choose a wedding dress in one click.

I’ll hover over a sentence, delete it, put it back, reread it, and second-guess tone and perception. Making an appointment does the same thing.

Small decisions invite commentary. They stay open. They ask questions. Big decisions don’t.

When it’s something that actually matters, my brain goes quiet. I dyed my hair pink without much thought. Tattoos have always felt obvious. I picked my Jeep quickly. Wedding dress shopping was calm in a way that surprised even me- I ordered it online without ever trying it on and choosing a new place to live didn’t unravel me either. It just landed.

That contrast used to confuse me. But I think I understand it now…

Big choices feel easier because they’re deliberate. I’m not guessing. I’m not auditioning outcomes. I’m choosing something I already recognize. I know who I am now. I know what feels good. When I say yes, the decision closes behind me.

Small choices don’t do that. They stay flexible. Adjustable. Exposed. Like picking one song versus letting an entire record play: One asks me to manage a reaction, the other lets me sink into something I already trust.

I don’t overthink because I’m unsure. I overthink because some doors are still open.