Little People = Gateway Drug

Little People aren’t toys. They’re toddler crack. They are the gateway drug straight into the kids’ most unhinged imaginations, and once they arrive, it’s over for everybody.

Sis and Bubs don’t “play” Little People. They enter a full dissociative trance. Their eyes glaze over like two tiny masterminds about to launch a cinematic universe. Their little hands start twitching. The vibe shifts. Suddenly I’m not babysitting, I’m managing a small country. Because these two? They’ve collected enough Little People infrastructure to qualify for federal funding.

They’ve got a castle, a pirate ship, a palace, multiple houses, a camper, a truck fleet, random cars that appear out of nowhere, two jeeps because of course, and the barn that somehow becomes a nightclub every third Tuesday. Some days we have it out nicely, a beautiful little village. The kind of setup that makes you think, “Wow, childhood is magical.” Then Bubs walks in and reminds us he’s Godzilla.

And once Bubzilla makes landfall, that’s it. The village is gone, the citizens are screaming, Sis is filing FEMA paperwork, and I’m sitting there holding one tiny plastic farmer like I’m supposed to negotiate peace talks. That’s Little People in this house. One minute we’re building a wholesome neighborhood, the next minute it’s a Category Five toddler disaster movie. And honestly, that’s usually when it gets the funniest.

Even after all that chaos, the second they spot a new Little Person, they both lock in like addicts at a drug rave muttering, “Yeah… I’m gonna need that one.”