Religion is WEIRD
It’s all the same in my brain.
I was encouraged to believe in Santa, the Tooth Fairy, magic. Then one by one, those things disappeared along with the innocence of childhood. Eventually I was taught that magic wasn't real, just whimsical kid shit.
I kept waiting for someone to tell me religion was pretend too...
They never did. We prayed at night, celebrated Christian holidays, and the Bible got credit for some of our morals. God was around, but I wasn't fully indoctrinated. Of course I tried church. I wanted to see the hype. I only saw weird shit.
Communion, for example. THE FUCK YOU MEAN? You're CONSUMING Jesus? It's ok when you do it, but when Megan Fox does it, she 'needs help'.
Anyway, moving on from the casual cannibalism...
PRAYER. Prayer I can kind of understand as gratitude. Thank you for my family. Thank you for my food. Thank you for whatever. Fine. I understand the concept. But asking God for stuff is where you lose me again.
People say, "I'll pray for you," and first of all, that is literally the least you could do. It's lazy. It's a cop-out. But it's also pointless according to your own logic. If God did or allowed the thing you're praying about in the first place, what makes you think he WANTS to fix it?
Besides, he's too busy keeping track of everyone's sex lives.
For an all-powerful being who created the entire universe, God spends a weird amount of time worried about who everybody's fucking.
Who you fuck, when you fuck, whether you've fucked yet, whether you're married, whether you're gay, whether your clothes might make someone want to fuck. For people so concerned with keeping everyone pure, y'all sure do think about fucking a lot. Especially when it comes to kids. Weird.
And where are we getting all these rules? Oh right. The Bible.
Others can read the same book and somehow walk away with completely different rules. But if I read it differently, suddenly I'm wrong and going to hell. Cool.
Speaking of going to hell; zoom out far enough and religion starts looking pretty culty. Worship the leader, follow the rules, recruit others, don't question it... OR ELSE.
I'm sorry, but... CULT.
Which might explain why churches have always given me the heebie-jeebies. Some are absolutely beautiful. Some are basically a room with a cross in it. Every single one gives me the same cold, uneasy feeling the second I walk inside.
Perhaps I'm the Antichrist. That would actually clear some things up.
I don't have some giant dramatic moment where I stopped believing. I don't think I was ever fully convinced. Religion just never made sense to me.
But if we're all cool with cults... I do have some ideas.