Trollchella

“Just like Queen Poppy.” Boom. Instant coronation. No voting, no ceremony. Just a three-year-old pointing at my newly PINK hair like, “You’re in charge now.” I didn’t fight it. Why would I? The crown fits.

Sis dubbed herself Branch- moody, dramatic, emotionally unstable with a crown she keeps misplacing. And Bubs? Assigned the role of Tiny Diamond without consent, just vibing in the background like a one-man hype crew with no clue what he signed up for. That was MONTHS ago.

Trolls Band Together… The soundtrack isn’t just background noise. It’s our full-time theme music. We know every lyric, every beat drop, every moment of drama. And then Sis found NSYNC. Now we’re riding this nostalgic boy band high like it's 2001, and honestly? I’ve never felt more seen. But the bath-time concert? That’s when I knew I was in deep.

I’ve started letting her shower on her own. Safe setup, door cracked, grown-up on standby. I turned on the soundtrack through a shower speaker and this girl turned that tub into an arena. I watched her (because of safety, duh) behind those glass doors, giving it everything. Singing, dancing, acting out the entire movie plot with shampoo as a prop. At one point, she placed her palms on the glass, looked me dead in the eye, and screamed: “I’M SHAKING MY LITTLE BLUE TROLL BUTT!!”. Wonder where she learned her to twerk… wink.

At this point, we’ve gone so far beyond obsession, it’s almost embarrassing, except we have zero shame. This isn’t just a movie soundtrack anymore. It’s a lifestyle. A movement. A multi-generational tribute act.

Bubs walks around saying “Toll…” in that sweet little giggle voice, like he’s casually summoning the spirit of Justin Timberlake from the clouds. Sis performs the entire movie on command like she’s running a one-girl stage show. I’m sweating through yet another dance session, hairbrush mic in hand, begging the universe for a slow ballad so I can breathe.

Heart full, voice gone. This was Trollchella.